Dear Diary,
Things move apace.
The wedding shall be Thursday. Who would have thought that I, Wayne Austen would be involved in two hymenial happenings in as many months with two different women, one of whom turned out to be more different than anyone had foreseen?
The Clamps arrived today. Mrs Norris has arranged them accomodation at the Inn in the village. Farmer Clamp insists on bearing his cock wherever he goes and is loathe to let it go. He is very much attached to it and it seems Mrs Norris had to be quite persuasive at the Inn in acquiring permission for it to flap freely about their premises.
I was out in the garden this afternoon searching for Willow, who appears somewhat distant at present, when I was mounted from behind by Father's Todger. I grant you it is not the first time that such an occurence has taken place but it was the last thing I expected at that moment. I turned to find Father standing behind me with a disapproving look.
"Wayne, I cannot hide my disappointment" He spoke sternly.
"I know," I shrugged, " If only I had visited Violet the Violator and her donkey friend instead."
He coloured slightly and then patting my shoulder said,
"Well, you know you can always count on me in your hour of need."
"As a matter of fact," I replied, " there is something you can do for me. Could you keep a secret?" Then I laughed. "Oh, how silly of me! Of course you can!"
Kristin Chenowith - Home
14 years ago
4 comments:
Dear Wayne,
That must be some plan Ned has devised. How about a hint?
You are being a little ruthless with pater no? That is not like you Wayne. Perhaps another go on Willow's oboe would temper your mood.
Ever yours,
B.
Naughty, Wayne! But I'm glad you can laugh in such a trying hour.
-h
My dear Mr 'Moose',
I fear when a man is cornered there is no telling how he might lash out, but they do say music calms the savage beast.
Yours desperately,
Wayne Austen
My dear distant 'h',
Laughter is the best medicine!
Yours titteringly,
Wayne Austen
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