Monday 31st October 1811

Dear Diary,
How the dark draws in upon us as the months march on.
I was still up in Cobbler's Bottom when dusk fell and had just resolved to begin my journey home when I was caught by the Goolies!
I was surprised to see them so far from Netherton.
We exchanged greetings and pleasantries and I had just succeeded in extricating myself from their grasping company on the pretence of being called to finger the Parson's organ when I turned and fell over a pumpkin that had been discarded carelessly upon the ground.
I was hauled up from this indignity by the Goolies and limped home.

Sunday 30th October 1811

Dear Diary,
How I am grateful for the familiarity and warmth of my own Knob End.
How soft and welcome is this cushion upon which I am sat.
How I tried to appear delighted  as Mrs Crutchlow presented me with a plate of sausage, potatoes and turnip for dinner.

Saturday 29th October 1811

Dear Diary,
After slipping into Foulk Hall uninvited we are now guests of honour and last evening sat beside its owner, 'Arfur' Foulksayke. 
All has turned out better than I had hoped even though our dinner last night was almost identical to the one we had at the Inn in Stirling the previous evening.
I leant over to him during dessert and told him of my interest in his Knob. When he had recovered from almost choking upon his cranachan I was able to explain further.
It would appear Cain has raised £5000 to buy the Knob but 'Arfur' has assured me he will delay the sale for a fortnight if we can better my brothers offer.
We are determined to try.
I think we will have need of Titty's Pork Hunt.

Friday 28th October 1811

Dear Diary,

We rode as boldly as we could up to the entrance of Foulk Hall. 
By some fortuitous chance there was already a large gathering of gentlemen about the forecourt and by all accounts it would seem they were gathering for a hunt. A groom stepped forward and took away our horses and we slipped into the throng unnoticed.
How fitting that surrounded by these huntsmen we were embarking upon a hunt of our own.
"What does he look like?" Willow whispered as we walked through the grand entrance into the hall.
I shook my head and shrugged "I have no idea."
Suddenly there came a voice from the top of the stairs,
"Wewcome Gents, Let the 'unt begin!"
I only caught a quick glimpse of the fellow who spoke before we were swept out with the tide of eager huntsmen. I lost sight of Willow in the melee and once outside all I could do was follow the crowd up the hill and into the woods.
In the woods everyone began to spread out and move away quietly into the trees and I took the opportunity to wander away on my own.
As you know I have never been one to enjoy the hunt so I found a secluded spot and sat down upon a fallen tree trunk. I winced in some discomfort but weathered it and it gradually subsided. I passed the time by trying to identify all the trees about me and then when tired of that drew out my pocket knife and started whittling idly away at a twig.
I cannot say how long I had been sat there before I became aware of the presence of another but I suddenly turned to find a huge stag standing not ten feet behind me.
I do not know how I had not heard its approach but there it stood boldly returning my stare.
I raised myself up and expected it to flee at my movement but it stood its ground and lowered its head slightly.
"Shoo," I said.
It snorted and pawed at the undergrowth with one of its front hooves.
"Be off or I shall be forced to use this," I cried, brandishing my inadequate pocket knife.
It lunged forward and startled I stepped back and with a cry tripped over a protruding root and fell backwards into the thicket.
Almost immediately there was a loud explosion close by. I heard the stag fall and a flock of rooks flew up from the trees above wheeled away calling in alarm.
"Blimey!" someone said, "Well played, Fella!"
I looked up to find the fellow from the top of the stairs standing over me holding his still smoking gun. He was all smiles. He held out a hand to me and helped me up.
He did not release my hand once I was back on my feet but kept shaking it warmly.
"Arfur," he said.
"Arthur?" I repeated.
"No, Arfur...Arfur Foulksayke. Pleased ta meet ya"
I was pleased to meet him.
My hunt was over.

Thursday 27th October 1811

Dear Diary,
I fear I may never recover my usual gait after all this riding of recent days.
I cannot recall a time when I have been so reluctant to sit down as I am now.
You find us resting in Stirling and tomorrow shall attempt to gain entry to Foulk Hall. 
I long for this matter to be closed. I am quite weary of it all and I fear if we fail tomorrow I shall be forced to give up my Knob forever.
Feeling peckish I called upon the landlord of this Inn to ask about dinner.
It was as if he were speaking another language!
I spurned his 'aggis, tatties and neeps' and asked he fetch something else.
He brought a strangely large sausage some potatoes and turnips.
It was quite nice.

Wednesday 26th October 1811

Dear Diary,
We are returned to Knob End and remain quite tender in places but cannot rest for we are to make preparations  to journey on in our efforts to save The Knob.
We are to Scotland in the morning.
I shall appraise you of the situation when time allows.

Tuesday 25th October 1811

Dear Diary,
We are taking a more sedate pace in our journey home for we still have far to go this week and do not wish to task our horses too greatly. Thus we are resting for the night in Bottom Flash in Cheshire. If I look up from the desk upon which I write I can see a full moon!

Monday 24th October 1811

Dear Diary,

We rose early despite still being quite fatigued with our lengthy journey.
Our lodgings were close by the Tower so we had only a cock's stride to our destination in the City.
I cannot tell you how my heart leapt in my chest as I stood on the step afore Number 13 Back Passage.
The door was ajar and invited entrance and we stepped in. I fiddled nervously with my moleskin mittens as we entered the hallway.
Suddenly a door opened and out stepped a gentleman quite fashionably dressed carrying a bundle of papers. He looked up upon noticing our presence.
"Can I be of assistance, Gentlemen?" He enquired, peering over the top of his spectacles.
" We are looking to speak with Mr F..F..." I stuttered in my anxiety.
"Do you have an appointment?" He interrupted briskly.
"Well, I...er...No." I replied.
"Good..." he said, "for I would have had to apologise for his absence as it is I can only inform you he is not here. He has been called away to Foulk Hall in the Trossachs and shall not return until the end of the week. Who shall I say called upon him?"
I was somewhat taken aback by this turn of events but gathered my wits to answer him.
"Austen," I replied, "Mr Austen."
"Ah, yes, Mr Austen, I have just this moment received your correspondence regarding the land purchase."
He held up a large brown envelope.
"Be assured that this matter shall be sealed upon his return from Scotland."
Willow stepped forward and took the envelope from his hand and now it was this fellows turn to be taken aback.
"How fortuitous we came," said Willow, "for we cannot wait until then."
The fellow looked at me with some concern.
"He is my partner." I smiled.
"We shall at once to these Trollocks..." said Willow.
"Trossachs," I corrected.
"Yes, Trossachs," said Willow, " and get this matter dealt with. Come Wayne.....I mean Cain. Let us ride."
He swept out with the envelope.
The gentleman stood there open mouthed peering over his spectacles.
"Good day." I smiled and disappeared up Back Passage.
Willow tossed the fragments of Cain's torn up letter into the Thames and we enjoyed the rest of the day and evening about the City.
"Shall we to the Theatre?" asked Willow.
"Why ever not." I replied. "I feel we could do anything after today. In fact, I feel quite 'Wicked'."

Sunday 23rd October 1811

Dear Diary,
We have a long hard ride to London.
I am sure my Python has the stamina. I hope Willow's 'Homeau' is just as hardy.

Saturday 22nd October 1811

Dear Diary,
I was selecting my wardrobe for London when I was called down by Mrs Crutchlow and found Cain standing in the hallway.
" I have come to invite you for a final ride upon my Knob." 
"A tempting offer," I replied 'but I fear I am otherwise occupied at the present time."
"Tomorrow then?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"I am sorry," I answered "I have a previous appointment."
"Pity," he sighed, "For come Monday it shall be too late."
"The deal is sealed?" I was taken aback.
"Not as we stand here," he smiled "but I have signed the papers and returned them. Upon their arrival Monday morning the hill shall be mine."
If he had followed those words with 'Muahahahahahahahahahaha!' it would not have been out of place.

Friday 21st October 1811

Dear Diary,
Such a splendid eve spent in the company of Misses Foster and Dixon yesterday.
I told them of the troubles with 'my' Knob and of our impending journey to London in our bid to outflank Cain.
I perceived by the manner in which Miss Dixon sliced into her lamb balls that she held no affection for my brother.
"If only we could lay our hands upon the Longbird fortune," she said between mouthfuls, " for then I am sure we should be able to acquire it for our own."
If only, indeed!

Thursday 20th October 1811

Dear Diary,
We are to Nethermouth for dinner with the Misses Foster and Dixon.

Tuesday 18th October 1811

Dear Diary,

Arrangements have been made and we are to London at the weekend.

Cain must not know of our visit and so we are telling no one of our plans.

I trust you can keep a secret.

Monday 17th October 1811

Dear Diary,
Opposition to Cain's mining up on the Knob is burgeoning. I was twice halted in Cobbler's Bottom by towns folk keen to offer help. This all follows on from yesterdays visit by Ned and Titty.
Titty believes her Pork Hunt would be a wonderful start to raising funds to purchase the Knob for ourselves.
She proposes the slaughter of one of their pigs and then hiding pieces of the divided carcase about the woodland upon the Knob. Those fellows keen for a little pork would purchase tickets to thrash about the Knob hunting for the meat.
I confess I was rendered speechless.

Sunday 16th October 1811

Dear Diary,
Yesterday was a glorious autumnal day and Willow and I rode out around the Nethers to enjoy the sunshine.
We circumnavigated the wooded shores of a pretty lakelet before journeying home by way of Netherton, stopping to enjoy another evening at the theatre.
Today Jenny Tull caught up with us on our way home from Chapel with the news that she had finally discovered the whereabouts of the true owner of the Knob.
It would seem that he lives in London. 
Perhaps he can be persuaded to change his mind.
I shall have to make arrangements to visit London as soon as possible.
This evening brought two visitors to Knob End.
I opened the door to find Ned and Titty upon the threshold.
"Pardon, our intrusion upon your evening Mr Austen," said Ned, "but we would like to tell you about Titty's Pork Hunt."

Friday 14th October 1811

Dear Diary,
The week has been quite lengthy and dull.
I have spent much time buried in my Fanny Burney and on occasions fingering my instrument.
Today has been quite an ordeal however.
Mrs Crutchlow is away visiting family for the weekend and Harden Thicke returned home after lunch as his Dick was looking a little limp and shivering so due to the cold.
I shall not burden you with the circumstances of how I came to be in the privy but as I opened the door to leave I was confronted by a large toad in the hallway beyond.
Why do these creatures insist upon invading my home?
It lunged towards me and I retreated, hastily, back into the privy where I remained until Willow returned from school, some four hours later.
Happily he discovered the creature in a dark corner of one of the guest rooms and returned it to the garden.
Such a relief for I would scarce have slept a wink tonight.

Monday 10th October 1811

Dear Diary,
We have been to Netherton for a little 'thespic' entertainment with mother and father.
The journey home was wet and misty and I feel uncomfortably moist.
I am quite exhausted and ready for my cot.
Goodnight.

Sunday 8th October 1811

Dear Diary,
I do believe someone is not getting their fair share of precipitation.
My garden has had more than enough and although I have been contemplating a water feature I fear the one I possess at present is not to my liking.
I shall set Harden Thicke to draining it when he arrives on the morrow.
I pressed Mrs Crutchlow into making a Nethershire Parkin and some oat biscuits whilst I bathed before a roaring fire upstairs.
I returned downstairs and found Willow seated by the fire and peering at his lap. He beckoned me closer and I bent lower for closer inspection.
There upon his breeches lay that troublesome gnat. It appeared to be upon its back with its legs wriggling around.
The parlour door opened but we were too transfixed upon the struggling insect to look up.
"Oh my!" I gasped, "look how it is engorged with blood!"
There was a clatter behind us and an oat biscuit rolled across the floor and came to rest upon Willow's shoe.
We looked up.
"Do beg my pardon, sirs," blushed Mrs Crutchlow bending to gather the fallen biscuits and tray.
"I'll pop back later." 
She disappeared and we returned our attention to the gnat.

Saturday 8th October 1811

Dear Diary,
A miserable day outdoors meant we were compelled to find indoor distraction.
I found distraction in my Fanny Burney until there was a knock upon the door.
It was Ned come to offer us his plums.
It was the highlight of the day.

Thursday 6th October 1811

Dear Diary,
The rodent may have gone but we are pestered by a gnat!
It has surely come in out of the persistent rain and attempts to feed upon us at its leisure.
How strange it must appear to view us suddenly slapping at our faces and necks or violently swiping at the air.
T'would surely appear we suffer madness.

Wednesday 5th October 1811

Dear Diary,
I was seated beneath the beech, upon Ned's erection, fingering my instrument in a dry interval between the rain showers, when I was startled by a voice;
"Pardon, Sir." It was Jenny Tull. "I 'ave some information."
I was under the impression that The Knob was 'common land' but it would appear that is not so. Mrs Tull imparted to me that Cain has been in correspondence with its true owner who has been swayed by his offer to buy. Cain's frequent visits to Netherton were part of his efforts to find allies in raising funds to buy the hill.
"Does the owner live in Netherton?" I enquired.
"I do not believe they do," said Jenny Tull, " I believe Mr Austen has only conversed with the gentlman by letter."
"Do you know how much my brother has offered?"
"I am sorry, I do not." I thought she was about to weep.
"Mrs Tull, I am very grateful for the information you have provided thus far. Please do not fret. If you find this all too taxing I shall press you no further for your help."
She smiled weakly.
"No, Mr Austen, I shall endeavour to seek out the answers to your questions as soon as is possible."
She pulled her shawl up against the wind and hurried back to the Grange.

Monday 3rd October 1811

Dear Diary,
I still live.
I have taken up the mandolin as my new hobby but today find my fingertips quite numb.
It feels most strange and I almost sent for Doctor Llewellyn Dowd until Willow assured me it was due to over fingering my instrument.
I had hoped to sit astride Ned's erection and practise my fingering further today but alas, the weather is once more returned to its usual wet and windy nature.
What news of 'my' Knob? 
I sense your curiosity.
I have enlisted the help of Jenny Tull, who is becoming a frequent caller here at Knob End. She is also not enamoured of my brother and his ways and so is keen to help me discover all that I can about his plans. 
When I discover anything of interest I shall record it here.