Monday 4th August 1808

Dear Diary,
I cannot allow the incident with the toad to deter me from my daily constitutional, so I set off briskly after breakfast but ensured I paid close attention to the pathway ahead. As I approached Cobbler's End I became aware of someone in distress and quickened my pace. I came across Miss Lott sobbing at her gate and in a quite dreadful state.
"Whatever is the matter?" I asked, most earnestly.
"We've lost our 'merkin'," she wept.
"Fear not, Miss Lott, for I will help you in your search," I pronounced heroically, but was still unsure as to what it was I was looking for exactly. "What does your 'merkin' look like?" I enquired.
"Well," she murmured bravely, "small, black fur and a white tip upon her tail."
"You sit and dry your tears and let me find your pussy," I said. She opened her mouth to speak but I raised my hand to quieten her and stalked off.
I searched their garden and then the surrounding woodland and hedgerows for some three hours crying 'Merkin! Merkin!' before, finally, I returned to their home defeated.
I grasped their knocker and wondered how to word the unfortunate news when the door swung open to reveal Miss Noring stroking her muff.
"Mr Austen, we saw you coming up the path," she smiled.
"I am sorry, Miss Noring, but I have not been able to lay my hand to your Merkin." I confessed.
"Then here, " she laughed, "stroke it now," and she offered up her muff which I was alarmed to see was alive and moving. It was no pussy. Merkin, it seems, is a ferret. I declined the chance to stroke it and expressed my relief at their reunion and turned to leave.
"Mr Austen, I must give you something for your trouble. Come," she said, "and see what you think of my box."