Dear Diary,
I arrived home just before dawn and fell into my bed. I rose well after lunch and went down to see what I could find to assuage my hunger. Mrs Crutchlow made me a delicious ham sandwich and I took a seat in the scullery and enjoyed it. I told her of some of my experiences yesterday and then went out to take the air.
Ned was by his shed rubbing his butt.
"You were home late, Mr Austen," he smiled, "Did you have a good time?"
"Indeed," I replied, "It was most entertaining, yet I was very tired when I arrived home and I slept like a log."
"Slept like a log eh?' He chuckled. "I didn't but I woke up wi' one," he snorted.
"Have you ever worn a kilt Ned?" I asked.
"No, " he replied, "but I would have a go."
A vision of Ned in a kilt, shirtless and wielding his chopper flooded my mind and I leant upon the shed for some support.
"Well, I shall leave you to get on," I said gaining my composure. "What is it that you are doing exactly?"
"I got a nasty splinter from the edge of this yesterday so I'm just smoothing it down," he said. "You want a go?"
"No, thank you Ned," I sighed, "I don't have the energy for rimming today, but you carry on," and I went inside to lie down.
Kristin Chenowith - Home
14 years ago
3 comments:
I do hope that they let go with you to Mrs. N's. You two are a wonderful comedy team. You should have taken him to Edinburgh, where I understand they do much comedy.
-h
Dear Wayne,
How could you turn down the chance to do some rimming of Neds butt, no doubt the thought of Ned in a kilt with no shirt and his chopper in hand made you feel the need for a lie down.
Yours lost in thought,
B.
My dear gentlemen,
I fear you can have too much Ned. I find it so anyway.
Yours replete,
Wayne Austen
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