Wednesday 6th August 1808

Dear Diary,
Such a damp August thus far though I am sure Miss Noring's box will welcome it. I managed to take Python out for a quick canter before lunch but did not risk the Knob. There are only so many times a fellow can return wet, before his health is jeopardized severely. I did manage another, short perambulation this afternoon and was returning up the lane when I espied, none other than, Gustav Wynde in conversation with Ned in the garden. I leapt into the nearest bush which unfortunately turned out to be Holly.
Oh, how I winced!
Peering, cautiously, through the echinate foliage I watched as they appeared to be discussing Ned's magnificent erection. Gustav was rubbing his hands over it and I could see that Ned's head was swelling as Gustav waxed lyrical about it.
Eventually, I saw Ned shake his head and gesticulate towards Cobbler's Bottom and Gustav returned back down the lane looking most crestfallen. I remained as still as I could while he passed by, despite feeling numerous pricks about my person, then extricated myself carefully and rushed up to Ned.
"What did he want?" I asked him.
"He was keen to see you, Mr Austen," he replied, "But I told him you were not here and he left."
"Well done, Ned!" I congratulated him. " You dispatched him superbly." I could see his head was swelling again.
I turned and began to walk towards the house.
"But I told him you would be back soon," he called after me, still smiling.
I was in the cellar when I heard the knocker rap upon the front door. It was only few moments later that the cellar door at the top of the steps opened and Ned called down;
"Mr Austen, you have a visitor."
I reluctantly climbed the stairs, concocting terrible ways to exact my revenge upon him for revealing my hiding place then, with a sigh, stepped out into the hall to face My Wynde. The brightness of the light in the hall blinded me for a few seconds and as my vision cleared I saw the unexpected, but welcome, face of Danielle St Amour.
"Mr Austen," she stepped forward and held out her hand, " why were you in the cellar in the dark?"
"Miss St Amour," I smiled, "I was just expriencing, at first hand, the plight of the blind." I turned to Ned and I could see he was fighting the urge to laugh. I glared at him and he knew he was in trouble.
"Ned, Miss St Amour is damp and cold, follow us into the parlour and stoke the fire."
She perched upon the chaise longue as I stood by and watched Ned wield the poker. At that moment there was more knocking at the front door.
Ned hesitated and looked at me but I indicated that he should keep on poking. We heard footsteps in the hall and muffled voices. Ned suddenly stood up as the parlour door opened and knocked me over onto Miss St Amour. We sprawled across the chaise longue and she cried out in shock.
Mr Wynde stood in the doorway and his eyes widened at the sight before him. His mouth opened as if he were about to speak but shut suddenly as he turned and squeezed back out, past an equally shocked Mrs Crutchlow. We heard the front door close with deliberate force and then all was quiet.
I felt a strange vibration move through my body and I realised Miss St Amour was laughing, slowly but surely the sound rose until the room was filled with her, dare I say, sensual and throaty laughter.