Dear Diary,
I was able to finally leave Far Corfe after spending some anxious minutes buried in Mrs Norris's bosom. I limped to the carriage as Willow had accidentally dropped my baggage upon my foot and this, after spilling tea upon me at breakfast. Where he once spoke of my obvious charm, he now regards me with disdain.
I left a joyous Mrs Norris to plan a magnificent engagement party and returned to Thrushcock Grange to inform my family of the impending nuptials.
The happy smile upon my face dwindled the nearer I got to home so that by the time I rolled up at the front door I was filled with apprehension. The Wayne Austen of Far Corfe Hall was very different to the Wayne Austen that dwells at Thrushcock Grange.
My family were delighted at the news and even Jane's smile seemed genuine.
"When are we going to be able to congratulate your fiancee ourselves?" Asked Mother.
"Danielle has some other engagements abroad first but she hopes to be able to visit us shortly." I replied.
I wandered in the garden later to escape the excited chatter indoors and found Ned trimming Miss Noring's box.
"Congratulations, Mr Austen," he said, "There's never a dull moment here at Thrushcock."
"Ned," I said earnestly, "I have no one else I can share this with but I have to tell someone.... I am having misgivings."
"Crikey!" he said, "You are a dark horse! You're only just engaged and you're off with another woman!"
Kristin Chenowith - Home
14 years ago
7 comments:
Dear Wayne,
You should spend more time talking with Ned, he will help you do some long and hard thinking about what it is you like and want in life and things will soon be *straight* once more.
All my best,
B.
Master Austen,
I must alert you to the fact, knowing Master Woofter quite well, that your engagement to Miss St Amour has caused much perterbation and strife in his sensibility. Although he has not confided in me as such, I can perceive in his general demeanour that he feels such a match is not wise - and indeed rather perilous. I beseech you to rethink this high matter and not take such a huge step on base impulse or a sense of duty fuelled by pity. Willow has experience in such matters, having been erronously engaged to Miss Edna Drakesbottom during his fey adolescence - and narrowly missed committing a wrong of such enormity that heaven itself would have wept had such a match been consumated. I urge you to meditate upon these words and look into your heart for guidance and reason. Willow would wish it so, but dare not say.
Yours in concerned felicitation,
Master M. Gemme (Midge)
Oh, Wayne! I was so hoping that you'd finally found happiness with Willow.
-h
My dear Mr Gemme,
Tell me more of what Willow wishes for I confess his charms have not gone unnoticed by me. Rumour has it he has spent some time 'down under' and posesses a magnificent didgeridoo and is proficient at blowing one. Would that I could blow his....sigh.
Absolutely Yours,
Wayne Austen
My dear distant 'Haukur?',
It may yet be so...one never knows what may yet be around the corner...
Yours equally hopefully,
Wayne Austen
Dear Master Austen,
I hesitate to speak so, for my dear friend Woofter is indeed the most modest and demure of gentlefolk, but I indeed can confirm that he is a master of that most rude and primitive instrument, the didgeridoo. After the romantic debacle of his youth, which I alluded to earlier, involving the eponymous Ms Drakesbottom, he did indeed spend some time in the antipodean colonies sowing his wild oats, so to speak. Whilst thus engaged, he learned the art of blowing a sonorous drone on his magnificent instrument (it truly is like none other I have seen for girth and length. The mere sight of it has been known to make gentlemen weep!).
I sincerely hope that you will have the good fortune to witness Woofter play upon his exalted instrument - it is a rare and august delight.
Yours in musical appreciation,
Master Midge T. Gemme
My dear Mr Gemme,
I positively dream of it!
Yours moistly,
Wayne Austen
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