Wednesday

Wednesday 13th August 1808

Dear Diary,
I was idly running my fingers across the stiff spines of the books in the library when I noticed a tome entitled; 'The Scotch Itinerary, Containing The Roads Through Scotland, On A New Plan With Copious Observations For The Entertainment Of Travellers.' by a James Duncan. What an unnecessarily long and pretentious title but, Oh, happy fates! It was most useful in planning my route through the hostile terrain and provided some interesting information about the area. I read:
Thomas of Ercildoune dwelt in the Scottish Borders some 700 years ago. He resided near the Eildon Hills - whence Michael Scot the Wizard instructed three imps to split the single hill into three. Thomas, it is fancied, met the Fairy Queen in the Eildon Hills and she made him to go to Fairyland for three years. On his return he discovered he had the gift of poetry and prophecy and usually made his prophecies in rhymes, similar to those of the more well known Nostradamus. He thus became more popularly known as Thomas the Rhymer. He is credited with predicting the Union of the Crowns which came to pass in 1603. One of his rhymes was "Tide, tide, whate'er betide, There'll aye be Haigs at Bemersyde".
Apparently, there are Haigs presently residing at Beymersyde, for Mrs Crutchlow has a cousin, who has a cousin who is a cousin of their gamekeeper but as for fairies...what poppycock!
"You don't believe in fairies do you Ned?" I asked as he plucked a grouse.
He paused and looked at Mrs Crutchlow, but she just shrugged her shoulders and carried on rinsing her jugs. His mouth opened and shut, then opened and shut as if he were trying to find the right words. Mrs Crutchlow sighed and said her mother had told her that everytime someone denies the existence of fairies, a fairy dies.
"Aye," said Ned, "I heard they 'ung one last week."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Enjoy your journey, Wayne.

Take Ned with you and buy him a kilt--a short one!

-h

Anonymous said...

Dear Wayne,

I pray you are feeling yourself again soon.

Yours befuddled,

B.

Starched Collar said...

My Dear Wayne,

Beware the flying cabers on your journey to the land of the Scots. I've heard that they can be quite long and hard.

Breathtakingly yours,

Beau Tibbs

arachesostufo said...

ciao waine, saluti da venezia

Wayne Austen said...

My dear Canadians and 'Hermes?'

Your continued presence and concern is of great comfort to me. I throw my arms about you and pat you warmly upon your backs.

Yours affectionately,

Wayne Austen

Wayne Austen said...

My dear Arachesostufo,

Thank you very much but no Venetian salad for me.

Yours gratefully,

Wayne Austen