Dear Diary,
Nightmare in Netherpool!
As you know, I am very fond of balls and thus when I became aware of a large ball being held in the open air, indeed, upon the shore at Netherpool, I girded my loins and grabbed my crop and rode hard astride Python to experience it. It was such a shame that, after the glorious weather bestowed upon us recently, the sky remained overcast. Yet I am a man of impulse and eager to live, so a few grey clouds did nought to dampen my ardour for merriment. I found my new Netherpool acquaintances and was introduced to some delightful ladies from Frottingham and all was set for an evening of dancing and exquisite social intercourse which one rarely finds up Cobbler's Bottom. The atmosphere was indeed intoxicating and the music stirring but some became more intoxicated than others and I fear not by their own intention. Events took a turn for the worst when we retired for some respite to an apartment in the town. I could not possibly regail you with the convoluted events thereafter but it involved 'snuff', a disappearance and thankful rediscovery and concluded with me escorting the ladies from Frottingham, astride Python, safely back to their lodgings in Neston before returning home far earlier than I intended.
My life may be dull here at Thrushcock Grange and I may be a man of moderation and sense but a life with 'snuff' is no life at all and I rejoice in my dullness.
Kristin Chenowith - Home
13 years ago
6 comments:
My dear Mr.Austen,
My best congratulations at your choice of moderation and good sense in your life. 'Snuff' indeed, such peril! I am shocked to hear of it. Alas what can one say, but your new acquaintances are from Frottingham after all. You did well to return home at an early hour.
Do you know if these persons are biding long in Netherpool and just how does one get there?
Yours hopefully,
Mr. Mous
Dear Wayne your balls are indeed intoxicating.
My Dear Mr Mous,
Indeed these persons reside in Netherpool and due to the abundance of 'snuff' seem content to remain there. As for getting there, I suggest you follow your nose....titter! titter!
Yours indulgently,
Wayne Austen.
My dear David,
You sound like a man of experience.
Pray tell, when did you attended my balls?
Yours enquiringly,
Wayne Austen.
A doctor writes:
snuff is extremely corrosive of the nasal passages.
I am quite dismayed at the number of people whom one meets, who spend much of their time scratching their noses or ending each sentence with a loud sniff.
The habit is I fear well established in the artistic and thespian professions.
Name witheld to protect the anonymity of my clients.
My dear Doctor.....who?
Indeed, I am thankful that though I reside in these Nether regions I have encountered little snuff. I pray that all who are drawn to it desist and live happy unsullied lives with healthy, pure nasal passageways.
Yours caringly,
Wayne Austen
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