Thursday 31st January 1808

Dear Diary,
I awoke in a sweat in the dead of night after a dreadful dream where I was being pursued by a wolf that had Malcolm's head! Such howling the beast made but imagine my shock when awake I found the howling continued and was actually coming from outside in the dark. I did not open my casement for the rain was pouring down and peering out could see nought. The howl ceased and shortly after, there came a tapping at my door and in slipped Evelyn Tent in her night dress and wrapped in a mauve shawl. She sat on the end of my bed and looked most fearful. She said she too had been woken by the noise outside and asked what it was. I had my own suspicions but suggested the wind, which she seemed to accept as most likely. She wondered if I would be kind enough to take her out for a ride in the morning and I said I was sure that we all would enjoy a canter after breakfast. She looked downcast and said she had hoped that we could spend some time alone together. I do not know if she noticed me visibly stiffen but I did and my mouth went quite dry. There followed quite an uncomfortable and lengthy silence, as I tried to maintain my fixed smile. Presently, she stood and bade me a goodnight and slipped out. Why me? Why am I sought after by those who I do not seek and cannot tempt those that I do? I do not find her appealing and besides that mauve shawl jarred awfully with her nightgown. In short she has no style.
I slipped out myself and descended quietly to the scullery for some refreshment. As I entered I encountered Ned standing before the fire, bare-chested, in nought but his socks and underclothes. He had not noticed me enter and was drying his clothes on the range as he must have been out in the rain. I stiffened for the second time that night and could scarce breathe. I did not know what to do, so just stood and stared. I found myself thinking, how strange that Ned too had no style as he stood there in his oversized underclothes and odd socks and yet he was most appealing. For an awful, yet thrilling, moment I thought he was about to remove his remaining vestments but he turned and leapt back and uttered a word that a gentleman, such as I am, could not possibly write. He apologised immediately as I smiled weakly and motioned to the water jug, poured myself a glass and bade him goodnight. I returned to my room and pondered upon my nocturnal encounters. Only one remained full in my mind as I slipped off to sleep.
Evelyn did not get her ride. The weather was far too inclement to venture out and so we remained indoors. Fanny commented that I seemed distracted. I confess there were things upon my mind.