Sunday 16th March 1808

Dear Diary,
An extremely dull Sunday morn was spent wedged between Malcolm and Evelyn Tent upon a most uncomfortable pew in St Hilda's in the Effin Vale. Malcolm grunted through the hymns, while Evelyn wailed them and it was torture to a trained ear like mine. Megan Bacon, waved merrily every time I looked around in her direction as did the other elderly ladies with whom she was sat. The third time the Rector said "Let us pway" I wanted to titter uncontrollably but I pressed my hymnal hard into my groin and stifled it.
As we left the Rector shook our hands and said " It is a pity it is such a bwief visit to our Pawish. Do dwop in on us again." I stood on my own toe and bit my tongue as I smiled back.
Megan Bacon introduced me to all her lady friends who were eager to hear my telling of the peacock incident. "How dweadful!" exclaimed the Rector, as I finished. I wanted to say "Eavesdwopper!" but resisted the temptation.
Lunch was Jugged Effin Hare. There was a hair in my hare!
Evelyn crept up on me, this afternoon, as I was having a tinkle in the Library. She sat next to me upon the stool and leaned in close and spoke of her true feelings for me. When I informed her that I was indeed honoured and flattered by her attentions but could not reciprocate her esteem, she slammed the lid down upon my fingers and swept from the room. Thank the Lord, we are to return home tomorrow. I have had more than my fill of this Effin place!