Sunday 17th July 1811

Dear Diary,
It was our first visit to Church for some weeks. We walked through the rain to hear the Parson read the story of Noah. It being, perhaps, one of the more interesting biblical tales he still managed to infuse it with a dullness only the clergy appear able to do. I confess I did doze off shortly and was aroused again by hearing the Parson speaking my name. I was mortified that my lack of interest had been noted but was relieved to discover he was saying 'wain' rather than 'Wayne'.
"Congwatulations, Wayne," said the 'Wevewand Wussell Spwout'  as he shook my hand as we left. I surmised he was referring to my 'Norma Snose'.
 I nodded modestly and we went to  speak to the ladies of Cobbler's End, Miss Mona Lott and Miss Constance Noring.
It transpired that Miss Noring  now also possessed a 'Norma Snose' due to her neatly trimmed box. We were congratulating her heartily when she suddenly opened her raincoat and revealed a pair of 'Norma Stitts'. 
Willow and I were both taken aback.
"And in what class, pray, did you win these?" I gasped.
" They are not mine, dear Wayne," she chuckled, "They are yours! One for your floral arrangement and one for your generously filled cream pie!"
I swear I did not notice the rain as we returned home.