Wednesday 20th July 1811

Dear Diary,
I have requisitioned Fanny's pussy, Tuppence in the search for our tiny intruder. No sight has been seen of the beast since Harden got his Dick out in my bed chamber but I sense it is still there...watching us. My nerves are in tatters and I jump at the slightest noise.
I doubt Fanny's pussy will have any inherent hunting prowess for she spends her life in Fanny's lap being stroked and combed but I hope that her feline presence may induce our rodent to find more amenable accommodation elsewhere.
It is most unfortunate that I have been forced to visit the Grange to fetch her for now we have to endure another unwelcome visitor tomorrow. I had the misfortune of encountering Mrs Norris in the hallway.
"Wayne, dear," she cooed, " I have decided to call upon you tomorrow for luncheon and you can acquaint me with your...er..with your..." 
"Knob End?" I offered.
"Yes, dear, your Knob End before I return to my...er....to...erm..."
"Far Corfe!" I snapped.