Thursday

Thursday 19th June 1808

Dear Diary,
I have received an invitation to attend Mr Fairweather's Birthday Ball. He once again wrote of how he valued our friendship but understood if I were to decline. You are well aware of my love of balls, but an opportunity to attend Mr Fairweather's is something I have, greatly, longed for in the past.
Such a wave of memory and emotion came over me upon receiving it and though I never mention it here, he is often upon my mind. I miss him so and fear my feelings for him will never be subdued no matter how far from sight or mind, I try to put him.
I declined by return of post.
Am I selfish? Am I a lesser person for being unable to bear the sight of him happy in another's arms? I wish I were able to accept only his friendship but I cannot. My head is willing but my heart is not. My heart wants all of him.
I wish him happiness and I know he wishes it me. 'Tis such a pity it cannot be with each other.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Wayne,

I understand how you feel, I have experienced such similar trials.

Yours in kindred spirit,

B.

Wayne Austen said...

My dear Mr Moose,

It always good to know I am not alone.

Yours thankfully,

Wayne Austen

Anonymous said...

Dear Wayne,

I heartily encourage you to attend to Mr Fairweather's ball. One must never be faint of heart in such circumstances. I feel sure Mr F will be delighted to see you and who knows what might ensue.

Please do go Wayne; I beseech you to be bold.

Wayne Austen said...

My dear Earl of Islington,

I did not mention at the time, but a few months past, I received another missive from Mr Fairweather. He was enjoying a sojourn abroad and the sting in my heart at receiving it was hard to bear. I admit to jealousy. I wished I was laughing with him and the thought that he was laughing with another pained me terribly. I cannot attend the ball for my tender heart could not bear to see him happy with another. I trust you can understand and not think me weak or cowardly.

Yours determinedly,

Wayne Austen

Anonymous said...

I think you should betake yourself to France. Wasn't their un certain Emmanuel there, who might prove a suitable companion?

-h

Wayne Austen said...

My dear mysterious Dr 'h',

Do long distance relationships ever work?

Yours questioningly,

Wayne Austen

Anonymous said...

Ah! That question!

Remorse! Remorse!