Dear Diary,
I awoke and barely had the strength to face the day, so I remained abed and feigned illness. Mr Wynde called upon me after breakfast to see how I was faring but I begged him to keep away for fear he caught whatever it was that ailed me. I can produce a dramatic cough when needed and he backed out as I went into a false spasm, saying he would call again later this afternoon.
"Wait," I spluttered, quite effectively,"When you return, knock four times before you enter so that I know it is only you." He smiled and nodded as he exited.
Happy that I now would be pre-warned of his return I quite enjoyed the solitude of the day and found many ways to amuse myself in and out of bed. Betty Tert, supplied me with tea and when she brought some hot broth late in the afternoon I asked her to send up Ned. He attended me shortly thereafter and found me propped up in bed, reading. I put down my book and patted the mattress beside me. He sighed heavily, and began to lie down next to me.
"No, Ned, just sit! " I exclaimed. I asked him if he had seen anything of Mr Wynde during the day and by sudden coincedence at that moment there came four taps upon the door. The alarm that flashed upon my face on hearing those knocks was nothing to the alarm that flashed upon Ned's as I pulled him down on top of me in the bed. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and rocked back and forth and thankfully the words he was muttering were muffled in the pillow.
The door swung open and I heard my Mother gasp.
"Ned! What ARE you doing!?" she demanded.
I released him and he leapt to his feet. Words failed me but I wish they had failed Ned too.
"Wrestling, Mrs Austen," he gabbled, "I was pumping his handle and stretching his plums!"
Kristin Chenowith - Home
14 years ago
5 comments:
Dear Wayne,
I do admit I laughed aloud at today's entry Ned should be a court jester. "I was pumping his handle and stretching his plums!"
this sounds a delightful pastime, I should like to give it a try if Ned is ever available to demonstrate.
Laughingly yours,
B.
Dear Wayne -
Have you considered the possibility that the wretched Wynde might be manipulating mater and pater to find out who your supposed paramour might be? Does your mother usually knock four times - I think not. Why did your father enter the drawing room the other night?
Or is it my imagination fevered with the thought of you and Ned engaged in some heavy plum stretching?
Ned is developing into a great comic character.
-h
My dear gentlemen,
Thank you all for your comments today. I am glad you are amused and I would tell Ned too, if only I could find him. I fear he is avoiding me. I fear it was unhappy coincedence (or possibly comedic contrivance) that my parents encountered me thus.
Yours unluckily,
Wayne Austen
Thank you :-)
"paramour" duh!
So that's how it's spelled.
I couldn't find it.
B.
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