Dear Diary,
It seems there has been some misunderstanding on Ned's part over the jerkin. He tried to explain it to me this morning but could not quite get the words out he wanted to say. In the end I excused him and he left wearing my jerkin which suited him very well.
The rest of the day was quiet. Much of the house has been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Terts, Betty and Willy, while others have cared not a jot.
I have remained much of the day in my chamber, fingering and flicking through one of my favourite books 'How to cock a snook' by Hugh Jarse. I even had my dinner brought up rather than go down for it.
When, this evening I heard the hasty approach of a carriage on the gravel outside I assumed that the Terts were finally here. I heard mutterings in the hallway and then the sound of footsteps mounting the stairs but was surprised when there was a bold knocking upon my door. I set down my book and arose to open the door. Imagine my surprise to open it and behold the beaming face of Gustav Wynde. I hardly had time to gasp in shock before he stepped forward slipped a hand around my waist, cupped my right buttock and pulled me towards him. Then with his lips almost touching mine he breathed:
"Oh Wayne! Take me! I'm yours!"
It is hard to say what was more overwhelming, the unusual brevity of his words or his onion breath. I swear I heard a magpie chattering in the twilight outside as I gently extricated myself from his grasp. I staggered back and my mind was racing and then dramatically, even to my own amazement, uttered the words;
"You are too late! My heart is with another!"
Kristin Chenowith - Home
14 years ago
4 comments:
Dear Wayne,
Sounds delightful, the sight of Ned covered in your jerkin. I would like very much to see that and also see you bestowing it to him would be cause for some excitement I am sure. I hope he was appreciative and perhaps be in the enviable position of returning the favour some day.
I was afeared there would be trouble in the Wynde with your previous escape and now that chicken/cock has come home to roost.
Please don't let mastication in your room become a habit seclusion is not always the answer. Go down at every opportunity you will find it enjoyable.
Yours encouragingly,
B.
I'm on the edge of my seat.
-h
My dear Mr Moose,
Mastication in ones chamber has it's place providing one cleans up properly afterwards. I would hate to attract vermin.
Yours hygienically,
Wayne Austen
My dear mysterious Dr 'h',
The edge of your seat? Do you have piles?
Yours uncomfortably,
Wayne Austen
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