Saturday 15th November 1808

Dear Diary,
Quite a crowd had gathered upon the Quayside this morning awaiting news and just before lunch it was confirmed that the ship had indeed gone down. A fishing boat sailed into the harbour with wreckage and a handful of bodies found adrift at sea. As the corpses were hoisted ashore, suddenly all went black and I awoke to find myself in Heaven. An angel was bending over me, gently repeating my name with a tender smile upon his rosy lips. He bore a striking resemblance to the Reverend Peacock and then I realised it was the Reverend Peacock.
"Mr Austen, fear not! You have simply swooned. We must get you some attention," he whispered.
I was seen by a doctor and he pronounced me fit for the short journey to Far Corfe.
Mrs Norris fussed about me on my arrival and ordered a room to be readied.
"Is my Mother not here?" I enquired.
I was told that they had returned to Thrushcock some three days earlier as all repairs to my family home had been completed.
"Then I shall return there myself, to the bosom of my family, forthwith," I declared.
Mrs Norris looked crestfallen.
"That is not to say that your bosom is not welcome," I added awkwardly, "indeed, your bosom is quite magnificent and most welcoming and.......er.....well, I'll be off then." I thanked Mrs Norris and the Reverend Peacock for their kindness and climbed into the waiting coach.
I arrived at Thrushcock as the light was fading.
I was home at last.
The greeting from my family was as warm as I could have hoped for and they were eager to hear news of my adventures abroad but I sought the solitude of my room and once I had escaped the eager attentions of Father's Todger, mounted the stairs to the sanctuary of my chamber.
I had no sooner closed the door and sank upon the bed than I began to sob, uncontrollably, at the loss I felt within. How unfair is this life of mine? How cruel are the fates? Do I not deserve better than this?
There was a gentle knock upon the door and I tried to contain myself and regain my composure but the door swung open and I looked up to find Ned standing in the doorway. I was fighting back my emotions as I stood to greet my friend. He stepped forward and simply, and lovingly enfolded me in his manly arms and held me tight. It was the kind of embrace I have longed for, for so long and I began to weep again.
"I will never embrace Willow like this," I sobbed.
Ned's grip tightened and he held me until my sobs eventually subsided.
Finally we were standing in silence and I felt so safe and warm in his arms that I could almost have drifted off to sleep.
"Mr Austen," he said, finally "I know you are very upset and in a delicate state at the moment, but what is that I can feel poking me in my groin?"
I snuggled further into his shoulder and pulled him tighter as I felt his embrace slacken.
"Oh, just a pink oboe," I sighed.
He leapt back suddenly and stared at me in shock.
I could not help but laugh and when I pulled it out of my breeches, he laughed too, in happy relief.