Friday 3rd October 1808

Dear Diary,
I am back in a cell at Ballbanger Abbey for further 'contemplation' but in this instance came willingly to escape the turmoil at Far Corfe and managed to secrete you, dear diary, about my person.
It was Ned's plan to halt the wedding proceedings and declare his love for Titty, who would then declare her love for him and with the added blessing of their union from my 'helpful' Father, Ned was then to take my place at the altar after vowing to bring up Annie as his own. Willow's ejaculation was an unexpected occurrence which proved as fortuitous as it was shocking. It sent Mrs Norris into a heavy faint so that when Ned finally declared his hand she was not able to raise objection and by the time she regained her senses Mrs Titty Reckson was accompanying her husband Ned back up the aisle.
And what of Willow?
Well, the stunned silence that ensued his revelation was only broken by the sound of Mrs Norris collapsing to the floor. No one seemed too concerned for all eyes were turned upon me, at that moment, in complete bewilderment. I doubt I have ever felt so self conscious as I did at that moment, except for the time I was naked before the whole crew of the 'Hepatitis B'. I shrugged in equal bewilderment and laughing nervously shook my head and answered him with;
"I don't."
I looked at Willow and saw the sparkle in his blue eyes dim and then he turned and left the Chapel. The events that then followed I have already described.
I have not seem him again since then and I confess that he is on my mind and of great concern to me at this time.
On a positive note, which is of little comfort, those postulants are no longer so attentive.