Wednesday 19th December 1807

Dear Diary,
I thought I was going to have to forego my weekly practice upon the Parson's organ as Ned informed me, after breakfast, that Farmer Clamp had asked him to assist in, dare I write it, inseminating a couple of ewes and he was unavailable for pumping. I was quite melancholy at the news but by some great fortune I chanced upon Mr Fairweather in the woods, whilst I was exercising Father's Willie. He was glad to pump whilst my fingers made merry and indeed Mr Fairweather said he had never seen such nimble fingers or seen an organ played so. I must confess it was not only my chest that swelled with pride but my head also. I did not think it appropriate for Willie to accompany us into church. I am sure The Lord loves all his creatures great and small but I doubt he would be amused if a small creature urinated by his altar, thus I tied Father's Willie to a gravestone outside. ( No one of note, I might add, just some old fellow from Cobbler's Bottom who died of the plague). Imagine then, if you may, my great consternation when we emerged to find Father's Willie vanished with nought but a steaming cluster of dottles to show he had been there. For a moment I felt quite faint but Mr Fairweather girded his magnificent loins and set off following the puppy's tracks which were faintly visible upon the frosty ground. We had not gone far when we came upon Farmer Clamp's daughter Titty, and there was Father's Willie nestled at her breast. It was a great relief and I thanked her most kindly. Mr Fairweather could not accompany me back to the Grange and so I alone, enjoyed Mrs Crutchlow's hot muffins. Such a day! I feel quite exhausted at the drama of it.