Dear Diary,
Seasons greetings and happy felicitations!
May your Christmas be as gay as mine and your goose well stuffed!
Cheers!
Kristin Chenowith - Home
16 years ago
Friday
Friday 11th November 1811
Dear Diary,
I have long neglected you and trust you can forgive me, for as you know there have been greater distractions of late.
Our attempts to find the money to purchase the Knob from 'Arfur' Foulksayke have been quite exhausting. Our trip to Far Corfe was rewarded with £100 from Mrs Norris, thus proving her heart is almost as expansive as her bosom.
I also bring the news that Titty's Pork Hunt was well attended and raised a gallant £13 and 3 shillings.
Many of our friends ventured out in our support. Harden Thicke offered his Dick for stroking to those who gave up what they could afford. Llewellyn Dowd's leeches were less popular however but 'Wussell Spwout's 'wendition' of 'Awise Glowious Conquewer' brought funds flooding in from those offering it for him to stop.
Despite our tireless efforts sadly it was not enough and as the time drew nigh to make our offer to 'Arfur' I took a last ride upon the Knob.
I confess my eyes filled with tears as gazed upon that view for the last time and I resolved to leave the Nethers forever.
I am certain that what occurred at that moment was indeed 'Divine Intervention' for as I blinked away my tears I beheld a wondrous rainbow arching before me out across the valley and there at its end a beech tree festooned with the golden raiment of autumn.
I was a desperate man willing to do anything to save 'his' Knob.
I rode back to Knob End and urged Willow, Harden and Ned to follow me out to the tree and we dug and dug beneath its spreading branches.
As the last light of the day faded Ned's shovel finally unearthed what I hoped we would find; The Longbird Fortune.
Thursday last, Willow, the Misses Dixon and Foster and I journeyed hard to Scotland, to Foulk Hall and offered 'Arfur' Foulksayke £5113 and 3 shillings and he presented us with the deeds to the Knob and a haunch of venison.
There was great rejoicing upon our return yestereve.
Today a special service was held in the Chapel to dedicate the Knob for posterity to the people of Cobbler's Bottom.
"Mr Austen," said Ned from the pulpit, " we cannot thank you enough for our Knob for posterior."
I 'wanked' at him.
And what of Cain?
I fear I have made an even greater enemy of him. When he heard the news he lunged at me and would have struck me if Father's Todger had not leapt up to my defence.
He left Thrushcock Grange this evening with all his belongings.
He did not say goodbye.
I shall remain in the Nethers for now.
My mind is full of ideas for making the Knob more accessible for all and I am sure I can persuade Harden to assist me with that. I shall commission Ned to erect his greatest erection yet for all to sit upon and marvel at the view.
I leave you to concentrate upon a novel I intend to write.
If you should miss me...I am here...all you need do is leaf back through your pages and find me again.
I hear Willow out in the garden calling for the goat I have bought him. It is always venturing off. He was to call it 'Ralphene' but has now chosen another name.
If ever you have the pleasure to be upon the Knob in the days to come, you may hear us somewhere below calling for our goat;
"Arfur Foulksayke!"
I have long neglected you and trust you can forgive me, for as you know there have been greater distractions of late.
Our attempts to find the money to purchase the Knob from 'Arfur' Foulksayke have been quite exhausting. Our trip to Far Corfe was rewarded with £100 from Mrs Norris, thus proving her heart is almost as expansive as her bosom.
I also bring the news that Titty's Pork Hunt was well attended and raised a gallant £13 and 3 shillings.
Many of our friends ventured out in our support. Harden Thicke offered his Dick for stroking to those who gave up what they could afford. Llewellyn Dowd's leeches were less popular however but 'Wussell Spwout's 'wendition' of 'Awise Glowious Conquewer' brought funds flooding in from those offering it for him to stop.
Despite our tireless efforts sadly it was not enough and as the time drew nigh to make our offer to 'Arfur' I took a last ride upon the Knob.
I confess my eyes filled with tears as gazed upon that view for the last time and I resolved to leave the Nethers forever.
I am certain that what occurred at that moment was indeed 'Divine Intervention' for as I blinked away my tears I beheld a wondrous rainbow arching before me out across the valley and there at its end a beech tree festooned with the golden raiment of autumn.
I was a desperate man willing to do anything to save 'his' Knob.
I rode back to Knob End and urged Willow, Harden and Ned to follow me out to the tree and we dug and dug beneath its spreading branches.
As the last light of the day faded Ned's shovel finally unearthed what I hoped we would find; The Longbird Fortune.
Thursday last, Willow, the Misses Dixon and Foster and I journeyed hard to Scotland, to Foulk Hall and offered 'Arfur' Foulksayke £5113 and 3 shillings and he presented us with the deeds to the Knob and a haunch of venison.
There was great rejoicing upon our return yestereve.
Today a special service was held in the Chapel to dedicate the Knob for posterity to the people of Cobbler's Bottom.
"Mr Austen," said Ned from the pulpit, " we cannot thank you enough for our Knob for posterior."
I 'wanked' at him.
And what of Cain?
I fear I have made an even greater enemy of him. When he heard the news he lunged at me and would have struck me if Father's Todger had not leapt up to my defence.
He left Thrushcock Grange this evening with all his belongings.
He did not say goodbye.
I shall remain in the Nethers for now.
My mind is full of ideas for making the Knob more accessible for all and I am sure I can persuade Harden to assist me with that. I shall commission Ned to erect his greatest erection yet for all to sit upon and marvel at the view.
I leave you to concentrate upon a novel I intend to write.
If you should miss me...I am here...all you need do is leaf back through your pages and find me again.
I hear Willow out in the garden calling for the goat I have bought him. It is always venturing off. He was to call it 'Ralphene' but has now chosen another name.
If ever you have the pleasure to be upon the Knob in the days to come, you may hear us somewhere below calling for our goat;
"Arfur Foulksayke!"
Sunday
Sunday 6th November 1811
Dear Diary,
'Where have you been?' I hear you ask.
"Far Corfe!" I reply.
I confess I abandoned you at Knob End during my absence though you will concede I am distracted by urgent matters at this present time.
'Where have you been?' I hear you ask.
"Far Corfe!" I reply.
I confess I abandoned you at Knob End during my absence though you will concede I am distracted by urgent matters at this present time.
Wednesday
Tuesday 2nd November 1811
Dear Diary,
While Cain is occupied admonishing trespassers upon what he now believes is his Knob. I have been engaged in my attempts to raise funds to purchase it before he discovers the papers to which he put his signature have been mislaid.
I have spent much of the day discussing the details of Titty's Pork Hunt.
I was returning home when I encountered Llewellyn Dowd. I pressed him to keep it secret and told him of our fund raising.
He has offered the use of his leeches for those willing to donate to our cause.
I doubt his kind offer will bring much reward.
While Cain is occupied admonishing trespassers upon what he now believes is his Knob. I have been engaged in my attempts to raise funds to purchase it before he discovers the papers to which he put his signature have been mislaid.
I have spent much of the day discussing the details of Titty's Pork Hunt.
I was returning home when I encountered Llewellyn Dowd. I pressed him to keep it secret and told him of our fund raising.
He has offered the use of his leeches for those willing to donate to our cause.
I doubt his kind offer will bring much reward.
Monday
Monday 31st October 1811
Dear Diary,
How the dark draws in upon us as the months march on.
I was still up in Cobbler's Bottom when dusk fell and had just resolved to begin my journey home when I was caught by the Goolies!
I was surprised to see them so far from Netherton.
We exchanged greetings and pleasantries and I had just succeeded in extricating myself from their grasping company on the pretence of being called to finger the Parson's organ when I turned and fell over a pumpkin that had been discarded carelessly upon the ground.
I was hauled up from this indignity by the Goolies and limped home.
How the dark draws in upon us as the months march on.
I was still up in Cobbler's Bottom when dusk fell and had just resolved to begin my journey home when I was caught by the Goolies!
I was surprised to see them so far from Netherton.
We exchanged greetings and pleasantries and I had just succeeded in extricating myself from their grasping company on the pretence of being called to finger the Parson's organ when I turned and fell over a pumpkin that had been discarded carelessly upon the ground.
I was hauled up from this indignity by the Goolies and limped home.
Sunday
Sunday 30th October 1811
Dear Diary,
How I am grateful for the familiarity and warmth of my own Knob End.
How soft and welcome is this cushion upon which I am sat.
How I tried to appear delighted as Mrs Crutchlow presented me with a plate of sausage, potatoes and turnip for dinner.
How I am grateful for the familiarity and warmth of my own Knob End.
How soft and welcome is this cushion upon which I am sat.
How I tried to appear delighted as Mrs Crutchlow presented me with a plate of sausage, potatoes and turnip for dinner.
Saturday
Saturday 29th October 1811
Dear Diary,
After slipping into Foulk Hall uninvited we are now guests of honour and last evening sat beside its owner, 'Arfur' Foulksayke.
All has turned out better than I had hoped even though our dinner last night was almost identical to the one we had at the Inn in Stirling the previous evening.
I leant over to him during dessert and told him of my interest in his Knob. When he had recovered from almost choking upon his cranachan I was able to explain further.
It would appear Cain has raised £5000 to buy the Knob but 'Arfur' has assured me he will delay the sale for a fortnight if we can better my brothers offer.
We are determined to try.
I think we will have need of Titty's Pork Hunt.
After slipping into Foulk Hall uninvited we are now guests of honour and last evening sat beside its owner, 'Arfur' Foulksayke.
All has turned out better than I had hoped even though our dinner last night was almost identical to the one we had at the Inn in Stirling the previous evening.
I leant over to him during dessert and told him of my interest in his Knob. When he had recovered from almost choking upon his cranachan I was able to explain further.
It would appear Cain has raised £5000 to buy the Knob but 'Arfur' has assured me he will delay the sale for a fortnight if we can better my brothers offer.
We are determined to try.
I think we will have need of Titty's Pork Hunt.
Friday
Friday 28th October 1811
Dear Diary,
We rode as boldly as we could up to the entrance of Foulk Hall.
By some fortuitous chance there was already a large gathering of gentlemen about the forecourt and by all accounts it would seem they were gathering for a hunt. A groom stepped forward and took away our horses and we slipped into the throng unnoticed.
How fitting that surrounded by these huntsmen we were embarking upon a hunt of our own.
"What does he look like?" Willow whispered as we walked through the grand entrance into the hall.
I shook my head and shrugged "I have no idea."
Suddenly there came a voice from the top of the stairs,
"Wewcome Gents, Let the 'unt begin!"
I only caught a quick glimpse of the fellow who spoke before we were swept out with the tide of eager huntsmen. I lost sight of Willow in the melee and once outside all I could do was follow the crowd up the hill and into the woods.
In the woods everyone began to spread out and move away quietly into the trees and I took the opportunity to wander away on my own.
As you know I have never been one to enjoy the hunt so I found a secluded spot and sat down upon a fallen tree trunk. I winced in some discomfort but weathered it and it gradually subsided. I passed the time by trying to identify all the trees about me and then when tired of that drew out my pocket knife and started whittling idly away at a twig.
I cannot say how long I had been sat there before I became aware of the presence of another but I suddenly turned to find a huge stag standing not ten feet behind me.
I do not know how I had not heard its approach but there it stood boldly returning my stare.
I raised myself up and expected it to flee at my movement but it stood its ground and lowered its head slightly.
"Shoo," I said.
It snorted and pawed at the undergrowth with one of its front hooves.
"Be off or I shall be forced to use this," I cried, brandishing my inadequate pocket knife.
It lunged forward and startled I stepped back and with a cry tripped over a protruding root and fell backwards into the thicket.
Almost immediately there was a loud explosion close by. I heard the stag fall and a flock of rooks flew up from the trees above wheeled away calling in alarm.
"Blimey!" someone said, "Well played, Fella!"
I looked up to find the fellow from the top of the stairs standing over me holding his still smoking gun. He was all smiles. He held out a hand to me and helped me up.
He did not release my hand once I was back on my feet but kept shaking it warmly.
"Arfur," he said.
"Arthur?" I repeated.
"No, Arfur...Arfur Foulksayke. Pleased ta meet ya"
I was pleased to meet him.
My hunt was over.
By some fortuitous chance there was already a large gathering of gentlemen about the forecourt and by all accounts it would seem they were gathering for a hunt. A groom stepped forward and took away our horses and we slipped into the throng unnoticed.
How fitting that surrounded by these huntsmen we were embarking upon a hunt of our own.
"What does he look like?" Willow whispered as we walked through the grand entrance into the hall.
I shook my head and shrugged "I have no idea."
Suddenly there came a voice from the top of the stairs,
"Wewcome Gents, Let the 'unt begin!"
I only caught a quick glimpse of the fellow who spoke before we were swept out with the tide of eager huntsmen. I lost sight of Willow in the melee and once outside all I could do was follow the crowd up the hill and into the woods.
In the woods everyone began to spread out and move away quietly into the trees and I took the opportunity to wander away on my own.
As you know I have never been one to enjoy the hunt so I found a secluded spot and sat down upon a fallen tree trunk. I winced in some discomfort but weathered it and it gradually subsided. I passed the time by trying to identify all the trees about me and then when tired of that drew out my pocket knife and started whittling idly away at a twig.
I cannot say how long I had been sat there before I became aware of the presence of another but I suddenly turned to find a huge stag standing not ten feet behind me.
I do not know how I had not heard its approach but there it stood boldly returning my stare.
I raised myself up and expected it to flee at my movement but it stood its ground and lowered its head slightly.
"Shoo," I said.
It snorted and pawed at the undergrowth with one of its front hooves.
"Be off or I shall be forced to use this," I cried, brandishing my inadequate pocket knife.
It lunged forward and startled I stepped back and with a cry tripped over a protruding root and fell backwards into the thicket.
Almost immediately there was a loud explosion close by. I heard the stag fall and a flock of rooks flew up from the trees above wheeled away calling in alarm.
"Blimey!" someone said, "Well played, Fella!"
I looked up to find the fellow from the top of the stairs standing over me holding his still smoking gun. He was all smiles. He held out a hand to me and helped me up.
He did not release my hand once I was back on my feet but kept shaking it warmly.
"Arfur," he said.
"Arthur?" I repeated.
"No, Arfur...Arfur Foulksayke. Pleased ta meet ya"
I was pleased to meet him.
My hunt was over.
Thursday
Thursday 27th October 1811
Dear Diary,
I fear I may never recover my usual gait after all this riding of recent days.
I cannot recall a time when I have been so reluctant to sit down as I am now.
You find us resting in Stirling and tomorrow shall attempt to gain entry to Foulk Hall.
I long for this matter to be closed. I am quite weary of it all and I fear if we fail tomorrow I shall be forced to give up my Knob forever.
Feeling peckish I called upon the landlord of this Inn to ask about dinner.
It was as if he were speaking another language!
I spurned his 'aggis, tatties and neeps' and asked he fetch something else.
He brought a strangely large sausage some potatoes and turnips.
It was quite nice.
I fear I may never recover my usual gait after all this riding of recent days.
I cannot recall a time when I have been so reluctant to sit down as I am now.
You find us resting in Stirling and tomorrow shall attempt to gain entry to Foulk Hall.
I long for this matter to be closed. I am quite weary of it all and I fear if we fail tomorrow I shall be forced to give up my Knob forever.
Feeling peckish I called upon the landlord of this Inn to ask about dinner.
It was as if he were speaking another language!
I spurned his 'aggis, tatties and neeps' and asked he fetch something else.
He brought a strangely large sausage some potatoes and turnips.
It was quite nice.
Wednesday
Wednesday 26th October 1811
Dear Diary,
We are returned to Knob End and remain quite tender in places but cannot rest for we are to make preparations to journey on in our efforts to save The Knob.
We are to Scotland in the morning.
I shall appraise you of the situation when time allows.
We are returned to Knob End and remain quite tender in places but cannot rest for we are to make preparations to journey on in our efforts to save The Knob.
We are to Scotland in the morning.
I shall appraise you of the situation when time allows.
Tuesday
Tuesday 25th October 1811
Dear Diary,
We are taking a more sedate pace in our journey home for we still have far to go this week and do not wish to task our horses too greatly. Thus we are resting for the night in Bottom Flash in Cheshire. If I look up from the desk upon which I write I can see a full moon!
We are taking a more sedate pace in our journey home for we still have far to go this week and do not wish to task our horses too greatly. Thus we are resting for the night in Bottom Flash in Cheshire. If I look up from the desk upon which I write I can see a full moon!
Monday
Monday 24th October 1811
Dear Diary,
We rose early despite still being quite fatigued with our lengthy journey.
Our lodgings were close by the Tower so we had only a cock's stride to our destination in the City.
I cannot tell you how my heart leapt in my chest as I stood on the step afore Number 13 Back Passage.
The door was ajar and invited entrance and we stepped in. I fiddled nervously with my moleskin mittens as we entered the hallway.
Suddenly a door opened and out stepped a gentleman quite fashionably dressed carrying a bundle of papers. He looked up upon noticing our presence.
"Can I be of assistance, Gentlemen?" He enquired, peering over the top of his spectacles.
" We are looking to speak with Mr F..F..." I stuttered in my anxiety.
"Do you have an appointment?" He interrupted briskly.
"Well, I...er...No." I replied.
"Good..." he said, "for I would have had to apologise for his absence as it is I can only inform you he is not here. He has been called away to Foulk Hall in the Trossachs and shall not return until the end of the week. Who shall I say called upon him?"
I was somewhat taken aback by this turn of events but gathered my wits to answer him.
"Austen," I replied, "Mr Austen."
"Ah, yes, Mr Austen, I have just this moment received your correspondence regarding the land purchase."
He held up a large brown envelope.
"Be assured that this matter shall be sealed upon his return from Scotland."
Willow stepped forward and took the envelope from his hand and now it was this fellows turn to be taken aback.
"How fortuitous we came," said Willow, "for we cannot wait until then."
The fellow looked at me with some concern.
"He is my partner." I smiled.
"We shall at once to these Trollocks..." said Willow.
"Trossachs," I corrected.
"Yes, Trossachs," said Willow, " and get this matter dealt with. Come Wayne.....I mean Cain. Let us ride."
He swept out with the envelope.
The gentleman stood there open mouthed peering over his spectacles.
"Good day." I smiled and disappeared up Back Passage.
Willow tossed the fragments of Cain's torn up letter into the Thames and we enjoyed the rest of the day and evening about the City.
"Shall we to the Theatre?" asked Willow.
"Why ever not." I replied. "I feel we could do anything after today. In fact, I feel quite 'Wicked'."
Our lodgings were close by the Tower so we had only a cock's stride to our destination in the City.
I cannot tell you how my heart leapt in my chest as I stood on the step afore Number 13 Back Passage.
The door was ajar and invited entrance and we stepped in. I fiddled nervously with my moleskin mittens as we entered the hallway.
Suddenly a door opened and out stepped a gentleman quite fashionably dressed carrying a bundle of papers. He looked up upon noticing our presence.
"Can I be of assistance, Gentlemen?" He enquired, peering over the top of his spectacles.
" We are looking to speak with Mr F..F..." I stuttered in my anxiety.
"Do you have an appointment?" He interrupted briskly.
"Well, I...er...No." I replied.
"Good..." he said, "for I would have had to apologise for his absence as it is I can only inform you he is not here. He has been called away to Foulk Hall in the Trossachs and shall not return until the end of the week. Who shall I say called upon him?"
I was somewhat taken aback by this turn of events but gathered my wits to answer him.
"Austen," I replied, "Mr Austen."
"Ah, yes, Mr Austen, I have just this moment received your correspondence regarding the land purchase."
He held up a large brown envelope.
"Be assured that this matter shall be sealed upon his return from Scotland."
Willow stepped forward and took the envelope from his hand and now it was this fellows turn to be taken aback.
"How fortuitous we came," said Willow, "for we cannot wait until then."
The fellow looked at me with some concern.
"He is my partner." I smiled.
"We shall at once to these Trollocks..." said Willow.
"Trossachs," I corrected.
"Yes, Trossachs," said Willow, " and get this matter dealt with. Come Wayne.....I mean Cain. Let us ride."
He swept out with the envelope.
The gentleman stood there open mouthed peering over his spectacles.
"Good day." I smiled and disappeared up Back Passage.
Willow tossed the fragments of Cain's torn up letter into the Thames and we enjoyed the rest of the day and evening about the City.
"Shall we to the Theatre?" asked Willow.
"Why ever not." I replied. "I feel we could do anything after today. In fact, I feel quite 'Wicked'."
Sunday
Sunday 23rd October 1811
Dear Diary,
We have a long hard ride to London.
I am sure my Python has the stamina. I hope Willow's 'Homeau' is just as hardy.
We have a long hard ride to London.
I am sure my Python has the stamina. I hope Willow's 'Homeau' is just as hardy.
Saturday
Saturday 22nd October 1811
Dear Diary,
I was selecting my wardrobe for London when I was called down by Mrs Crutchlow and found Cain standing in the hallway.
" I have come to invite you for a final ride upon my Knob."
"A tempting offer," I replied 'but I fear I am otherwise occupied at the present time."
"Tomorrow then?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"I am sorry," I answered "I have a previous appointment."
"Pity," he sighed, "For come Monday it shall be too late."
"The deal is sealed?" I was taken aback.
"Not as we stand here," he smiled "but I have signed the papers and returned them. Upon their arrival Monday morning the hill shall be mine."
If he had followed those words with 'Muahahahahahahahahahaha!' it would not have been out of place.
I was selecting my wardrobe for London when I was called down by Mrs Crutchlow and found Cain standing in the hallway.
" I have come to invite you for a final ride upon my Knob."
"A tempting offer," I replied 'but I fear I am otherwise occupied at the present time."
"Tomorrow then?" He asked.
I shook my head.
"I am sorry," I answered "I have a previous appointment."
"Pity," he sighed, "For come Monday it shall be too late."
"The deal is sealed?" I was taken aback.
"Not as we stand here," he smiled "but I have signed the papers and returned them. Upon their arrival Monday morning the hill shall be mine."
If he had followed those words with 'Muahahahahahahahahahaha!' it would not have been out of place.
Friday
Friday 21st October 1811
Dear Diary,
Such a splendid eve spent in the company of Misses Foster and Dixon yesterday.
I told them of the troubles with 'my' Knob and of our impending journey to London in our bid to outflank Cain.
I perceived by the manner in which Miss Dixon sliced into her lamb balls that she held no affection for my brother.
"If only we could lay our hands upon the Longbird fortune," she said between mouthfuls, " for then I am sure we should be able to acquire it for our own."
If only, indeed!
Such a splendid eve spent in the company of Misses Foster and Dixon yesterday.
I told them of the troubles with 'my' Knob and of our impending journey to London in our bid to outflank Cain.
I perceived by the manner in which Miss Dixon sliced into her lamb balls that she held no affection for my brother.
"If only we could lay our hands upon the Longbird fortune," she said between mouthfuls, " for then I am sure we should be able to acquire it for our own."
If only, indeed!
Thursday
Thursday 20th October 1811
Dear Diary,
We are to Nethermouth for dinner with the Misses Foster and Dixon.
We are to Nethermouth for dinner with the Misses Foster and Dixon.
Tuesday
Tuesday 18th October 1811
Dear Diary,
Arrangements have been made and we are to London at the weekend.
Cain must not know of our visit and so we are telling no one of our plans.
I trust you can keep a secret.
Monday
Monday 17th October 1811
Dear Diary,
Opposition to Cain's mining up on the Knob is burgeoning. I was twice halted in Cobbler's Bottom by towns folk keen to offer help. This all follows on from yesterdays visit by Ned and Titty.
Titty believes her Pork Hunt would be a wonderful start to raising funds to purchase the Knob for ourselves.
She proposes the slaughter of one of their pigs and then hiding pieces of the divided carcase about the woodland upon the Knob. Those fellows keen for a little pork would purchase tickets to thrash about the Knob hunting for the meat.
I confess I was rendered speechless.
Opposition to Cain's mining up on the Knob is burgeoning. I was twice halted in Cobbler's Bottom by towns folk keen to offer help. This all follows on from yesterdays visit by Ned and Titty.
Titty believes her Pork Hunt would be a wonderful start to raising funds to purchase the Knob for ourselves.
She proposes the slaughter of one of their pigs and then hiding pieces of the divided carcase about the woodland upon the Knob. Those fellows keen for a little pork would purchase tickets to thrash about the Knob hunting for the meat.
I confess I was rendered speechless.
Sunday
Sunday 16th October 1811
Dear Diary,
Yesterday was a glorious autumnal day and Willow and I rode out around the Nethers to enjoy the sunshine.
We circumnavigated the wooded shores of a pretty lakelet before journeying home by way of Netherton, stopping to enjoy another evening at the theatre.
Today Jenny Tull caught up with us on our way home from Chapel with the news that she had finally discovered the whereabouts of the true owner of the Knob.
It would seem that he lives in London.
Perhaps he can be persuaded to change his mind.
I shall have to make arrangements to visit London as soon as possible.
This evening brought two visitors to Knob End.
I opened the door to find Ned and Titty upon the threshold.
"Pardon, our intrusion upon your evening Mr Austen," said Ned, "but we would like to tell you about Titty's Pork Hunt."
Yesterday was a glorious autumnal day and Willow and I rode out around the Nethers to enjoy the sunshine.
We circumnavigated the wooded shores of a pretty lakelet before journeying home by way of Netherton, stopping to enjoy another evening at the theatre.
Today Jenny Tull caught up with us on our way home from Chapel with the news that she had finally discovered the whereabouts of the true owner of the Knob.
It would seem that he lives in London.
Perhaps he can be persuaded to change his mind.
I shall have to make arrangements to visit London as soon as possible.
This evening brought two visitors to Knob End.
I opened the door to find Ned and Titty upon the threshold.
"Pardon, our intrusion upon your evening Mr Austen," said Ned, "but we would like to tell you about Titty's Pork Hunt."
Friday
Friday 14th October 1811
Dear Diary,
The week has been quite lengthy and dull.
I have spent much time buried in my Fanny Burney and on occasions fingering my instrument.
Today has been quite an ordeal however.
Mrs Crutchlow is away visiting family for the weekend and Harden Thicke returned home after lunch as his Dick was looking a little limp and shivering so due to the cold.
I shall not burden you with the circumstances of how I came to be in the privy but as I opened the door to leave I was confronted by a large toad in the hallway beyond.
Why do these creatures insist upon invading my home?
It lunged towards me and I retreated, hastily, back into the privy where I remained until Willow returned from school, some four hours later.
Happily he discovered the creature in a dark corner of one of the guest rooms and returned it to the garden.
Such a relief for I would scarce have slept a wink tonight.
The week has been quite lengthy and dull.
I have spent much time buried in my Fanny Burney and on occasions fingering my instrument.
Today has been quite an ordeal however.
Mrs Crutchlow is away visiting family for the weekend and Harden Thicke returned home after lunch as his Dick was looking a little limp and shivering so due to the cold.
I shall not burden you with the circumstances of how I came to be in the privy but as I opened the door to leave I was confronted by a large toad in the hallway beyond.
Why do these creatures insist upon invading my home?
It lunged towards me and I retreated, hastily, back into the privy where I remained until Willow returned from school, some four hours later.
Happily he discovered the creature in a dark corner of one of the guest rooms and returned it to the garden.
Such a relief for I would scarce have slept a wink tonight.
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